we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
