She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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