Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
the liver wants what the liver wants
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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