I don't usually arrange sex via text message
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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