Quick, to the slutcave!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
