Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
