yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize