Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
