Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
