We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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