i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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