What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
