i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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