Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
