My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
