I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
