You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
