I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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