I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
