Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
