Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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