I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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