Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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