You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
