after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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