Sry I called you an 8
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
