a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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