So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think I am morally bankrupt
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
