My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
