I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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