Kiss
Puke
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize