found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
