I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just threw up on my dentist
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
