I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
