I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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