I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
