TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
