I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Im part way to drunk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
