I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
