I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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