Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She's the barista slut.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
