I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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