So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
