I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm passing your future prison.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
