No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
