Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
