well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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