My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
