these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
