I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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