dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
