Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
