yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
