You're so nebulous sometimes
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
