All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize