i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
