You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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