I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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